It's decided.

I like to read other people's blogs rather than write on my own.

Maybe it's just a phase, or maybe I don't have anything to write about. The latter is probably not true - there's always something to say. Perhaps I am afraid what I have to say isn't good enough or interesting enough or not creative enough. Perhaps I am wrong. Maybe it's because I don't want to think hard enough to write something down - it is summer vacation after all. But that can't be right either. What's the point of living this life if it's wasted on pointless thoughts and activities? If I'm really living (and I hope that I am) then there is always something to say or something to ponder. Real life comes from my Father in heaven. How can I be silent?

Something I've missed lately is journaling. I remember a certain English class in high school where we had an assignment to journal every day for the semester. While every day didn't always happen, the whole experience for me was enlightening. I found something that allowed my heart to speak. I was able to reflect on things that God was teaching me. And I was encouraged by my teacher to continue; I had found something that "fit". Don't give this up, he said. But somehow, over the years, I have never had that same experience. Yes, I've journaled here and there when something was especially poignant or when I needed to "think out loud", but what happened to daily reflection?

Why did I let that go? Have I missed out on self discovery or spiritual growth? Perhaps. But at least I've realized it. And I can only go from there.